Worst of the Night: January 20, 2011

Yikes. I think Doug's still pissed about those four-point plays...
Mavericks-Bulls: Allow me, if you will, to quote myself. From By The Horns:

It was a real defensive battle out there, folks. The kind where it looked like both teams were wading through invisible mud. Chicago hit only 36.9 percent of their shots. Dallas converted on 35.6 of theirs.

The Bulls scored 12 points in the third quarter. That represented the team’s season-low for a single quarter.

The Mavs finished with 77 points. That was their third-lowest output of the season. On December 28, minus leading scorer Dirk Nowitzki, they scored 76 points against the Raptors. On January 15, in Dirk’s first game back, they managed only 70 points against the Grizzlies in Memphis.

The teams combined for two fast break points. Chicago had none.

Nowitzki — who is a legitimate MVP candidate — went 6-for-16 from the field, missed both of his three-point attempts, and pulled down only two rebounds in 38 minutes. In case you forgot, the dude is seven feet tall and has averaged 8.4 RPG over his 13-year NBA career.

Derrick Rose had a stellar stat line: Game highs in points (26) and assists (9) to go with 7 rebounds and 2 blocked shots. Of course, he went 9-for-28 from the field, including 5-for-20 in the second half, and committed a game-high 4 turnovers.

Rose was the only Bulls player to score in double figures.

Now allow me to supplement myself. According to Hoopdata, Dallas was 5-for-12 at the rim (41.7 percent), 2-for-7 inside 10 feet (28.6 percent), 6-for-14 from 10-15 feet (42.9 percent) and 6-for-18 from 16-23 feet (33.4 percent).

Chicago was 7-for-21 at the rim (33.4 percent), including 1-for-6 by Derrick Rose and 1-for-5 by Omer Asik. The Bulls also went 4-for-10 inside 10 feet (40 percent) and 10-for-32 from 16-23 feet (31.3 percent).

My point? I'm surprised people in the United Center didn't have this reaction:


The Dallas Mavericks: The Mavs get their own entry for the way they delivered some bad news to poor Alexis Ajinca. Apparently, Dallas is working on a trade that would send Ajinca to the Raptors to create a roster spot for Peja Stojakovic without having to cut Sasha Pavlovic, whom they just signed. Ajinca was dressed and warming up at the United Center last night when Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle had to tell him to turn in his uniform and head back to the hotel.

Even to a guy like me, that's cold.

The Philadelphia 76ers: Man. Check out their last six games:

112-109 OT road loss to the Pistons
111-103 home loss to the Pacers
95-94 home win over the Bucks
96-92 OT home win over the Bobcraps
99-98 OT road loss to the Magic
100-97 road loss to the Bobcraps

Losses that were almost wins. Wins that were almost losses. But their 2-4 stretch typifies their 17-25 record and their average point differential of -0.6. On the one hand, they're losing a lot of close games. On the other hand, they're losing a lot of close games.

And it's the little, mental lapses that keep haunting the Sixers. In their previous loss, an overtime defeat in Orlando, they gave up two big four-point plays, one in regualtion and one in the OT session. Last night, they lost (in part) because they couldn't adjust to a single play.

From the AP recap:

The Bobcats' owner had to love what he saw from [Gerald] Henderson down the stretch.

Henderson, a bit player under former coach Larry Brown, has become part of the rotation though he is hardly known for his shooting. But he hit three consecutive jumpers on the same curl play from the right wing in the final 1:40. The last came with 26 seconds left to put Charlotte ahead 96-93.

"It was the same exact play all three times," said Henderson, who scored 11 points. "We call it 3-down and everybody in the NBA runs it. But it works because if you get two screens it's hard to defend. I came off ready to shoot, D.J. made a good pass every time and I just knocked the shots down."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times...

Andre Iguodala: I don't mean to pick nits or anything, especially when the guy led his team with 19 points on 7-for-11 shooting to go along with 5 boards, 5 assists and 4 steals. But Iggy bricked a free throw that would have tied the game with 40 seconds left. Then, with 11 ticks on the clock, he shanked a jumper that would have brougth Philly to within a point.

And when you consider the fact that Andre gave up the four-point play in the fourth quarter of that loss to the Magic, well, it seems like he's kind of the Anti-Clutch...

...with all due disrespect to Vince Carter.

Doug Collins, coach of the year candidate: "It's always disappointing when you lose. I texted Michael [Jordan] the other night after they had beaten Chicago and congratulated him. He said 'Yeah, we can't beat you though.' So I'm sure Michael reached out to the guys for them to beat his old coach today. He probably gave them a little pep talk."

Ah, that Doug. He's the kind of friend you'd write a song about. I love how he loves to name drop MJ. I also love that his text might have moved Jordan to fire up his team.

The Los Angeles Clippers: Jordan Heimer of the TrueHoop Network wrote the lead story for today's Daily Dime. No, I'm not bitter he relegated my Derrick Rose piece to the second spot by writing about the Clippers' playoff chances (currently zero-ish percent). Not at all. Hey, the Clippers are 10 games below .500 and coached by Vinny Del Negro. They're obviously a bigger story than Derrick Rose and his burgeoning MVP candidacy.

I keed.

Actually, the Clippers are a big story. I know 16-26 doesn't sound all that impressive. But subtract the 1-13 start and you have a team that's...15-13. Which, again, doesn't sound all that impressive until you realize we're talking about the Los Angeles Clippers. And let's not forget the two most exciting words in the English language: Blake Griffin.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because people have been getting so excited about The Other L.A. Team's recent hot streak -- 11 wins in 15 games -- that people have begun talking about...the playoffs. And you know what that means:


The stat curse was in. I mean putting the words "Clippers" and "playoffs" in the same sentence...it just can't end well. Sure enough, the Clips submitted one of their patented "They are who we thought they were" performances, choking away an early 14-point lead and ultimately losing by 15. The Other L.A. Team shot missed 17 three-pointers, shot 43 percent for the game, and gave up 20 poitns off 16 turnovers. Meanwhile, the Brandon Roy-less Frail Blazers hit 56 percent of their shots. Although, about that Bradon Roy-less part...

Brandon Roy: Did you know Portland is 14-7 without Roy this season? Which means they were 10-13 with him. Huh.

Vinny Del Negro, super-exciting quote machine: "I thought the Blazers executed much better than we did, in the second half especially. Our defense was not good enough or tough enough."

Chris's amazing one-line lacktion ledger: Jason Kapono punched out 26 seconds of time for a Mario, while Eduardo Najera gathered up a 2.05 trillion (2:03) for His Airness.

Worst of the Night: January 18, 2011

Coach 'Spo considers all possible variations of the play where (as stephani g. put it) LeBron dribbles for 20 seconds and launches a 35-foot brick.
The Chicago Bulls: Let's look at the facts.

The Bulls were playing the second night of back-to-backs and their fourth game in five nights...which started after a stretch of five games in seven nights. Chicago is without their second-best and third-best players (Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah). Derrick Rose, Luol Deng and Taj Gibson all logged 40+ minutes the night before. Thanks to all the frontcourt injuries, poor Deng is averaging 40 MPG in January and 39+ on the season.

And did I mention that Kurt Thomas (ancient) and Keith Bogan (awful) are currently starting for this team?

Under the circumstances, last night's homecourt flameout was actually fairly predictable. Minus Boozer, the Bulls couldn't get anything going inside and couldn't protect the paint, hence Charlotte's 65 percent conversion rate at the rim (15-for-23) and 46-28 scoring advantage in the paint. Mind you, on the season, the Bobcats rank 25th in FGP at the rim (59.8).

The Bulls looked tired and were a step slow all night. They shot poorly (39 percent as a team) and couldn't take care of the ball (14 turnovers in a slow, low-possession game). What's more, Chicago gave up 25 points off turnovers, which accounted for 30 percent of the 83 points the Bobcats scored.

Some of the turnovers were just plain stupid. Guys leaving their feet and then passing with nowhere to go, or driving baseline and trying to deliver a pass through heavy traffic. Ugly stuff.

Said Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau: "You can't turn the ball over against this team. If you do, you put them in the open floor and they score easily. We created our own problems."

Outside of D-Rose (14-for-28) and Ronnie Brewer (6-for-11), the Bulls couldn't have lobbed a beach ball into the ocean.

Luol Deng went 2-for-11. Taj Gibson was 2-for-7. Kurt Thomas shot 2-for-6. Keith Bogans had his usual 1-for-3 performance. Kyle Korver, C.J. Watson and Omer Asik were a combined 3-for-11. Mind you, two of their clutch-time shots were 1) a three-pointer by Deng, who to that point was 2-for-10, and 2) a layup attempt by Kyle Korver, who was standing underneath the rim at the time (and his shot was, not surprisingly, swatted out of bounds by Tyrus Thomas).

And don't even get me started on the idiotic "and 1!" fouls the Bulls committed or the way they let 15 seconds run off the clock while down a point with 25 seconds left and Charlotte in possession of the basketball. You know what, just go read the Top 10 Things I Hated About This Game.

Charlotte's three-point shooting: From Elias Sports Bureau via ESPN Stats and Information: "From Elias: The Bobcats took 13 3-point FG attempts, and MADE ZERO. They are just the 4th team in NBA history to take at least 13 3-point field goal attempts, miss all of them, and still go on to win the game. They are only the 2nd team to accomplish the feat on the road."

Tyrus Thomas: Huh. I guess this is why he shoots so many jump shots...


Officiating: Here's one of the worst back-to-back officiating sequences you're likely to see any time soon: D.J. Augustine travels on a breakaway layup in full view of a referee who's no more than 10 feet from him and then Derrick Rose gets called for an offensive foul that couldn't have been more non-existent if it had been named "The Easter Bunny's Pet Unicorn."


By the way, check this out, from the AP game notes: "Former Bulls forward Charles Oakley is one of Silas' assistants. He amused himself during the first half by grabbing the shorts of Chicago's Taj Gibson on an inbounds play and holding on when Gibson tried to run down the court."

I'm pretty sure that's not legal. Nothing got called, tho'.

The Miami cHeat: It's official: The cHeat will not win 70 games.

I would like to thank them, however, for reaching this point with half a season to go. That way we don't have to deal with all the suspense.

What led to Miami's fourth straight loss? A brick festival by King Crab and Pookie.

From ESPN Stats and Information:

Playing without Chris Bosh for the first time this season, Dwyane Wade and LeBron James combined to go 19-of-50 from the floor in the Miami Heat's 93-89 overtime home loss to the Atlanta Hawks. The 50 field goal attempts are the most that Wade and James have combined to take in a game this season.

James took a season-high 30 field goal attempts, but shot just 36.7 percent from the floor. It was the 26th time in his career that James attempted 30 field goals in a game; however, it was the third-worst shooting percentage of his career in a game in which he took at least 30 shots.

Without Bosh on the floor, James also hoisted a season-high 10 three-point field goals, connecting on just two. This season when Bosh is on the court, James has made 40.2 percent of his three-pointers, and just 29.9 percent when Bosh is not on the floor.

The Heat also missed Bosh in their half-court offense. Miami had been shooting a respectable 44.7 percent from the floor (including 49.3 percent by Bosh), but against the Hawks on Tuesday they shot just 34.8 percent (24-69).

So there you have it: The cHeat can't win without Bosh. Who knew?

In all seriousness, we all knew the supporting cast was a problem. The three starters not named "Wade" or "James" combined for 2 points. Joel Anthony grabbed 16 rebounds but went scoreless in 43 minutes. Eddie House (12 points) and Mario Chalmers (10 points) scored in double figures off Miami's bench, but Mike Miller and Erick Dampier -- supposedly key pickups for the Heat -- both laid goose eggs.

In all, the Heat shot 36 percent as a team and gave up 25 points off 16 turnovers. And how's this for weird: Despite having two of the league's greatest players teaming up, the Heat are now 1-7 in games decided by five points or fewer. And they're 0-2 in overtime when playing at home.

Weird, huh?

Equally puzzling was LeBron's decision -- despite being icy cold -- to chuck up trey from 28 feet out at the end of regulation. Really? LeBron and D-Wade on the floor and that's the best shot the Heat could get in a tie game at home?

Oh, but 'Bron wasn't done. With the cHeat down 91-89 with seven seconds left in overtime, James again hoisted from 28 feet away from the rim. Brick. And, essentially, game over. Of course, LeBron had hit a three on Miami's previous possession. So he was hot, right?

Said James: "I had a week off and that is what happens sometimes. We had everything going and when you have a few injuries it takes the chemistry out, it takes the rhythm out of a team."

So, uh, why take all the threes, then?

Bob Rathbun, unintentionally dirty quote machine: From the Hawks broadcaster, as supplied by Basketbawful reader StottsEra: "Atlanta back doors them to death and it's a stuff for Josh Smith!"

The LeBrons: At a time when LeBron's popularity has never been lower...he and his people decide to release a Web-based cartoon starring his four alter-egos. Yeah. That should work.


This is where I bring up ProStars, a failed Saturday morning cartoon (back when kids watched cartoons on Saturday morning) that starred Michael Jordan, Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretzky at the height of their popularity. If a cartoon with Michael Jordan rescuing children from burning buildings with the help of his rocket shoes didn't make it, The LeBrons don't have a chance.

ProStars! Show staaaars!
Rashad McCants' post-NBA career: Are you ready for this? Probably not, but here goes anyway: McCants is co-producing a new Web series in which he acts alongside former underage porn star Traci Lords as...the bisexual, cross-dressing leader of a shoplifting ring. No, I am not making any of those words up, and I'm kind of hurt that you thought I was.

All I can say is: It's gonna get real muthafuckin' mythological in this muthafuckin' piece. Believe dat. As beautifully stated in the trailer. Which is NSFW. Consider yourself warned.


Update! Amar''''''e Stoudemire, quote machine: The Wisdom of Sun Tzu (via AnacondaHL): "Ladies keep them legs close, an them books open. I'm telling yall this because I care. We have to become a smarter generation."

Chris's Lacktion Report:

Hawks-El (Oh El) Heat: Josh Powell pushed away a block in 3:21 with one turnover for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl, while Jordan Crawford went all-air once from the Georgia-Pacific Tower to earn a +1 in 2:16.

For Miami's currently-freezing basketball squad, Erick Dampier took a rejection and tossed one brick in 4:40 for a +2.

Bobcats-Bulls: Matt Carroll had two seconds to ruminate over Laikatu's cloud in a Super Mario!