Bawful After Dark: January 4, 2011

Detroit, ladies and gentlemen! Detroit.
Mind-blowing quote of the day, via a tweet from Zach McCann: Gilbert Arenas to JJ Redick: "We're the two best white shooters in the NBA."

...Okay then.

So, moving along, heads up, golf fans! (That includes you, Pistons, Nyets, and any other NBA players who will have a lot of free time when the playoffs roll around.) The next release of EA Sports' Tiger Woods franchise will definitely be worth buying -- Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12 will finally include the Masters, marking the first time Augusta National has appeared in a videogame. Many of us thought this day would never come, considering the reluctance Augusta's management has shown over the years to even broadcast every hole of the tournament, much less allow someone to play it in a video game. That being said, I'm even more surprised by this: you will be able to play Augusta as a female golfer in the game. So much for the game being realistic, I guess. The best tweet about this comes from ESPN's Jason Sobel: "EA Sports missed some things with Virtual Augusta. Example: Can't use prize money to buy t-shirts from John Daly at Hooters down the street."

Random video of the day: Ray Romano on Saturday Night Live back in 1999 making fun of Sportscenter. Aside fromTim Meadows' Stuart Scott doppelganger having two functioning eyes, it's pretty well spot-on. Perhaps my favorite part of the clip, however, is something one of the random Yahoo commenters also pointed out: "Wow the Sonics had a bad night... lost to the Jazz in Utah and to the Lakers in Seattle." And we thought playing on back-to-back nights was bad... Also, I'm sure Seattle would be happy to be in that situation today, since it'd at least mean they have a team.


Sweet sassy molassy!

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Caption This!
What is Erik Spoelstra doing?

Turkoglu triple doubles do not make Stan Van Gundy a happy man

A picture says a thousand words, and this picture of Nate Robinson's expression says... something

I think Adam Sandler made this same exact face at some point in The Waterboy

"I can't bear to look! ...Okay, maybe just a peek."

Nationally Televised Games:
Spurs at Knicks, NBA TV, 7:30pm: Numbers guru and PER proponent John Hollinger predicts Knick mediocrity thanks to a schedule that corrects itself after starting off super duper easy. Really? You don't say? That's only what pretty much all the writers and commenters on this blog have been proclaiming for weeks upon weeks now. And none of us needed a complex formula to figure that one out because sometimes it's just not necessary. Yes, advanced metrics are good for some things. But common sense and a quick glance at the schedule could fill in some blanks on this one.

All The Other Games:
Bucks at Heat, 7:30pm: I would call this a trap game, but have you seen the Bucks' offense this year? Hard for them to sneak up on anybody. Also, just for the record, I love the fake music-related nicknames thing from the WOTN comments today. Keep it going, guys.

Craptors at Bulls, 8pm: Check out this terrible Craptors jersey that appeared on Straight Cash Homey. Even better, it was spotted by Tas from The Basketball Jones. I love it when some of my favorite blogs end up working together somehow.

Also, Bawful noted something interesting about this game on his By the Horns blog:

Now, believe it or not, the Raptors have been on a roll against the Bulls in Chicago. The dinosaurs have won five of their last six games in the United Center, including the last three in a row. According to STATS LLC, Toronto has averaged 107.2 PPG while holding Chicago to 93.2 PPG during that stretch. Over the last three of those games, Derrick Rose has scored 13.7 points and shot 42.9 percent.

Of course, the Raptors haven’t played in Chicago since losing Chris Bosh. Or, for that matter, since Carlos Boozer started suiting up for the Bulls. So perhaps only recent history matters. When the Bulls played in Toronto on December 15th, Rose struggled in the scoring department (6 points on 3-for-9 shooting), but he had 11 assists as Chicago shot 53 percent as a team and won 110-93.

Thunder at Grizzlies, 8pm: Gloriously generic line from the STATS LLC game preview: "Improving their defense might help the Grizzlies with their consistency." Couldn't you say that about any team in any situation? If all other factors stay the same, improving your defense will always help you more consistently win games.

Frail Blazers at Mavericks, 8:30pm: Caron Butler = done for the season. Somehow the Mavs playing the Frail Blazers the same day this news breaks HAD to happen.

Hawks at Kings, 10pm: Let me get this straight. Joe Johnson's struggling with his shooting touch (6-of-20 from the field on Friday, 7-of-20 on Sunday). Yet the Hawks offense is still "give Joe Johnson the ball and let him shoot." Yes! It makes perfect sense! Or none at all.

Pistons at Lakers, 10:30pm: Some in-depth analysis courtesy of our old friend Knee-Mac: ""We haven't really put together consistently four quarters. We play well for a half or three quarters, but then we always have that quarter that lets us down." Basically, yes. This is why you're the Pissed-ons.

Bawful After Dark: December 8, 2010

NBA officials just invented a time machine to travel back in time and T up Sir Charles
(via Andy Gray's SI Vault)
Is there anything worse than that post-holiday hangover? I'm still sweating bacon grease after celebrating Birdmas.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

I bet that Geico Gecko can really ball. He's at least a 6th man for the Nets, right?

So, this was the most awkward hug ever, right? I mean, if their legs so much as bumped into each other, that'd be dual career-ending injuries

The Lakers let this guy light them up?

Nationally Televised Games:
Nuggets at Celtics, ESPN, 7pm: Rajon Rondo is scheduled to return to the lineup for this game. Hell. Yes. This will be a fun game to watch.

All the Other Games:
Bulls at Cavaliers, 7pm: This game may not be quite so fun to watch, courtesy of the poor Cavaliers.

Craptors at Knicks, 7:30pm: Amar''''e is looking to become just the second player in team history to score 30 in six consecutive games (which the Craptors defense can certainly allow), and the Knicks are riding high right now. They've won 10 of their last 11 thanks to a stretch in their schedule softer than the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man falling in a pillow factory. So I'm really going to enjoy seeing them drop 10 of 11 when their schedule corrects itself in the coming weeks as noted in the WOTN.

Pistons at Hornets, 8pm: Can we all just agree that the Hornets are a mess right now thanks to this whole ownership deal combined with their on-court product?

Pacers at Bucks, 8pm: Can we please have a moment of silence for the jump shot of every Bucks player? It was officially declared dead Monday with their 35 point first half effort against Miami.

Thunder at Timberwolves, 8pm: Uh oh. Darko left Monday's game early with an injury to his right quadriceps, and his status is unknown. Could his stretch of comptetence be in serious danger? (I can hear the cries from Minnesota from here! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!")

Warriors at Spurs, 8:30pm: Remember what Bawful said in the WOTN post about "career highs" and "season highs" always being set against the Warriors? Here's something even more bawful than that: the Spurs have beaten the Warriors 24 straight times in San Antonio. You read that right. Twenty four. Yes, that is the longest active home streak against a single opponent. Ladies and gentlemen, the Gol_en State Warriors!

Grizzlies at Suns, 9pm: And remember when these guys battled their way into a double-overtime thriller just a few weeks ago? I love the Suns, but come on, that was against the Grizzlies. And now they melted down last night in the 4th quarter against the Frail Blazers. I don't want to predict anything about this game.

Heat at Jazz, 9pm: Opening line to the STATS LLC preview of this game: "Much of the criticism surrounding the Miami Heat for their lackluster start has dissolved with the team reeling off five straight wins." Has it? Really? Has it? The fact that they've won five meaningless games against inferior opponents has dissolved much of the criticism? Does nobody read this blog???

Wizards Generals at Kings, 10pm: I feel confident in saying that this game will be completely, totally, utterly unwatchable whenever John Wall and Tyreke Evans aren't on the floor.

Lakers at Clippers, 10:30pm: Word is Andrew Bynum plans to return to action on December 14 against the Wizards Generals. In related news, Bynum plans to return to the IR for his next knee injury on December 15.